The Laws of Traffic in Pittsburgh

I've had a lot of fun adventures on the local roads lately. Like everytime I try to turn onto Centre Ave. My road is about a half a block from a traffic light, but do people approaching a red light let a person merge in? Of course not! And then when my car is perpendicular to theirs as they sit there and I am inching dangerously close to their driver side door to indicate to the next fool in line that I'm not taking no for an answer anymore - the driver stares stonily ahead, pretending not to notice me. Meanwhile, the next car in line is readying their hand above the horn so that they can honk at me immediately after the light turns green.

And what is with people waiting at a red light with every intention of turning left, but not using their turn signal until the light turns green? Listen everyone, if you put your turn signal on while the light is still red, there's a chance the person coming the other direction will give you a free pass when the light turns green. It's worth a shot, anyhow. More importantly, though, people behind you will know to leave plenty of room between your car and theirs so that they might have a shot at getting around you while the light is still green instead of having to wait through it while you're waiting for a yellow light to turn on.

And populace of America's Most Livable (and Least Navigable) City: stop honking at me! I am a kind, courteous, and incredibly defensive driver. I allow others to merge in front of me. I stop for pedestrians in crosswalks. I always use my turn signal. If my yielding to another car while in front of you causes you an extra 15 seconds of drive time, that hardly warrants a honk. And, fair warning, I honk right back.

One more thing. We all have experience with the tiny crowded streets of South Oakland. It's a complete mess back there. If I have to drop something off at a friend's house on a dead, one way street and I leave my car with the flashers on as far off the road as I can possibly get it - cut me the slack of the 30 seconds it will take if, for some reason, you're driving a car that is too large to fit by mine. Here's what you shouldn't do: pull up so close to my parked car that I can't squeeze between our cars to get back into the driver's seat and then refuse to back up so that I can actually pull out of the partial parking space I am in. That isn't helpful to anyone, and that will get you honked at. And I may possibly throw you the bird, depending upon how long you make me wait before you back up so I can get out of your way.

Lesson for the day: Why road rage when you can road rave? Promote driver seat dancing and improve your daily commute!